Praise, Honor, Respect...

Is it selfish to have a motivation that stems from a yearning for praise, honor and respect? In my opinion, no! People have all sorts of motivations as they pursue their goals. As we grow and develop those factors change. For instance, my definition of success is different at the age of 29 than it was at the age of 14; Or, as a single woman than what it would be as a married woman; as having myself as my sole responsibility than as it would be if I were caring for a child. I do believe that the more people mature, the less they tend to judge and critique. They are then better capable of assessing the gist of a situation. I don't care what your motivation is, just get motivated! It may be shallow, but if you are heading down a direction that will naturally expand your horizons, you will inevitably improve anyhow.

I remember when I used to coach a youth step team. We were in the beginning phases and were trying to build a strong foundation through having the kids become better acquainted. We then decided to initiate outings and small gatherings. Two girls were arguing one day and one "Outted" the other by announcing "She said she only wants to be on this team for the trips and snacks." I guess that stepper thought the other one would get in trouble or face some sort of resentment from me for that reason. I said "That's fine!" I explained to her that it was okay to want to be a part of something for those sorts of benefits. These are children and those types of things are fun!

At that time the girls were 10 years old. Both of those steppers remained with me through to high-school. You may start off doing an activity for one reason, but overtime you gain a deeper passion and involvement. We became a solid unit over the years and it was hard for us to separate. The relationships that the girls built with each other was probably much stronger than many of the relationships that they will build elsewhere. To this day, I keep in contact with the steppers that I have coached throughout the years. We have a special bond and view one another as family.

I am at the beginning of success and my motives may be superficial: praise, honor, respect... But I am aware that over the journey, I will build meaningful relationships. We all know that relationships change everything. There are specific character traits and integrity that I have, but if I'm blatantly honest- praise, honor and respect always have motivated me to do better and probably always will. I have no shame in admitting that!

There used to be a time when I felt uncomfortable with owning up to what seemed to be vain or selfish. Yet, over the years I have personally come to realize that being selfish in the beginning is the best route toward obtaining enough to share in the end. I can't give what I don't have. So I am proud to have derived the conclusions that I have thus far regarding success and development. My hope is to obtain the praise, honor and respect that I am searching for and then write about what my new motivations are 5 or 10 years from now. Until then, I hope you discover and own up to your truest and most base desires. You can't expect others to accept within you what you cannot accept within yourself.

Best wishes to you and your happily balanced estate!